


the best holiday gift

by orphan_account



Series: the johnkat adventure featuring gingerkat and nerdy john [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Biting, Friends With Benefits, Gay Sex, Humanstuck, M/M, Mwahaha, Rough Kissing, Smut, Strong Language, christmas themed and may become a series, im evil, most likely will, use of alcohol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-25
Updated: 2014-12-25
Packaged: 2018-03-03 09:41:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2846459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first chapter is in third person. The second is in first person from karkats point of view.<br/>John comes to visit karkat on christmas and they get to know each other a little to well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. the discovery

**Author's Note:**

> I'm horrible

"Twas two days before Christmas!" Dave shouted loudly into a can of Mountain Dew.  
"Twas two days before I killed myself." Grunted karkat while putting his hands in his face.  
The two best friends were sitting on a couch in Karkats apartment. Dave already downed four cans of the yellow/green soda. Karkat however had nothing to drink on that fine day. Twas only noon.  
"What'd you get tz?" Dave asked while shoving a dorito in his mouth.  
"I don't think its good enough." Karkat responded back angrily.  
"I'm sure its fine." Dave said before taking a gulp of the soda.  
"I got her a T-shirt with a red dragon on it and I got her an art set with like two sketchbooks." Karkat said standing up and beginning to pace across the living room.  
"Wow. I got her a necklace with like the Libra thingy on it." Dave said to karkat to try to help calm him down but it was true that's all he got her.  
"Holy shit I got her to much didn't I?" Karkat was pacing even faster.  
"Don't worry dude." Dave was getting up to get another Mountain Dew.  
There was a knock on the door. Eight knocks specifically. Karkat opened the door and Vriska invited herself in.  
"Well I live downstairs and I came to complain about your walking habits. I hear it all the damn time and I barely sleep because of it. I'm not as big of a bitch if I get some fucking sleep." Vriska said with her hand on her hip and her other hand pointing at Karkat.  
"I'm sorry it's two days until Christmas and I am worried about gifts. Not all people get what ever the hell they want with a snap of there fucking fingers!" Karkat yells angrily at the less bithcy version of Regina George.  
"Don't fucking yell at me! I don't control how poor you are!" The scorpio shouts at the cancer.  
"ROUND 1! FIGHT!" Dave says and puts a dorito in karkats mouth as he passes.  
"Yeah no." Karkat says chewing on the chip.  
"I'll be going. I have presents to wrap." The tall female says walking out of the apartment.

"If I had a dime for every time I wanted to kill you Strider I would have more money than the entire population of the U.S combined." Karkat says slamming the remote control onto the couch.  
"So every time we play video games and I win?" Dave says smugly.  
"Fuck you." The ginger says picking up the controller and pressing start to a new game of Mario kart.  
"Why do you always pick rainbow road dipshit?" The blonde says after taking a sip of his Mountain Dew.  
"Because you have a chance of losing." Karkat replies.  
"Well you always die. Also John is coming to your house tomorrow. He's coming from Rose's place a few miles away." Dave says as if there was no problem in it.  
"Really? Why not your place?" Karkat says then falls off the track.  
"Because I always come over. Practically unannounced too." Dave says after finishing his first lap.


	2. the arrival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John comes to visit karkat

My name is Karkat Vantas and I am hanging out with the stupidest person I know. He actually thinks Con-Air is a good fucking movie. He also thinks that I'm going to watch it with him.   
"Hey karkat is it okay if I come over yet?" I read on my phone. Message from John Egbert recieved 1 minute ago.   
"Yeah but gotta take a shower." Message sent now.  
"Okay I'm on my way." Message from John Egbert received now.  
I put my phone on the Spotify app and play fall out boy. I sit my phone on the counter of the bathroom sink. I grab a towel and a fresh pair of clothes. I start the water to warm it while I get undressed. I get in the shower and put shampoo in my hair.   
In the middle of the shower my front door opens and John decides to yell.  
"Honey I'm home!" He says with that weird nasal thing that happens when he jokes.  
"I'm in the shower still!" I yell back hoping he doesn't come in the bathroom because he's a weird idiot.  
"Okay I'll just grab a beer from your fridge!" He shouts back and I hear a bag drop. Did he take an overnight bag? What the hell he just wanted to watch a movie.  
"Okay the bottle opener is in the cabinet!" Of course it is. It's always there because I only have the beers there for when I have people over. Those are like two weeks old.  
"Yeah I know you big nerd!" He says and it makes me want to punch him. I don't care that I'm naked and in the shower.  
"I'll fucking kill you if you eat one of the donuts though." I say after turning off the water.  
"What?" John says and it sounds like he has food in his mouth.  
"John fucking Egbert prepare to die." I say while wrapping a towel around my waist.  
"Oh fuck!" John says and starts laughing. I run out of the bathroom and start chasing him and he runs. He runs and falls on the couch in my living room. I jump on top of him and hold his wrists down. I'm on top of John Egbert and he's hopeless. He has pretty eyes. Wait what. He's flailing under me and trying to escape. He stops and looks at me. I lean down and press my lips hard against his. What the hell am I doing. He's just a friend. But this kiss is pretty good. The only bad thing about it is it tastes like beer and donuts. What. He's kissing back. What the fuck. I bite his bottom lip. Then I stop the kiss and look at him. His lip is bleeding and I'm panting.  
"Those were my breakfast you fucking idiot." I say between breathes.  
"I should steal your donuts more." He says and both of our faces go red.  
"We're not going to tell anyone about this. Ever." I say and I get off of him.  
"Ha I already saw enough." Dave says from the front door. God damnit john didn't shut the door to my apartment. Of course my neighbor Dave Strider who happens to be John and I's best friend. The person I didn't want knowing about this. Had to witness it.  
"I'm not gay Dave! It just happened. Karkat is full to blame here!" John says pointing at me and his face is completely red.  
"What? No!" I yell.  
"From what i saw it was both of you being hella homo." Dave says with his arms crossed. I mean he was right.  
"Dave don't tell Jade. She'll tell Rose and rose will tell everyone." John says panicking.  
"I won't tell her. I won't tell anyone. If..." Dave just looks at us.  
"If what Strider?!" I yell.  
"If you tell me how it was." Dave says like the weirdo he is.  
"It was good." I say and john looks at me.  
"Yeah it was good." He says. Still looking at me.   
"Are you two gonna become like friends with benefits or some shit. If so then Karkat is so Mila Kunis. John you are Justin Timberdyke." Dave says then walks out of my apartment and shuts the door on his way out.  
I smash my lips with Johns again because damn he's hot. He melts into my kiss. I lick his bottom lip to see if I can gain entrance. Nice to know he thinks I'm a good kisser. I've been kissing girls for 21 years of my life. He allows my tongue to gain entrance and next thing I know we are 'swapping saliva' as Dave would say. Others would just say making out. God damn all this making out with John is giving me a boner. Just think about rose and kanaya havin- never mind that made it worse. Wow john is on his back on my couch. Oops I forgot all I'm wearing is a towel. I bite johns lower lip playfully, not to make it bleed again but just for him to let out a barely audible moan. Wow that sound was very attractive. I stop the kiss because I need to breathe.  
"We should watch the movie." I say between shakey breathes but I'm still literally on top of John.  
"We have all night to watch the movie." John says as though he doesn't want this to stop.  
"I thought you were..." I stop in the middle of my sentence because John kissed my lips softly. Wow his lips are soft. Like clouds. Damn. I hate you John Egbert.  
"Straight?" He says after a long kiss that I thought was just a peck on the lips.  
"Yeah." I say and my arms are getting weak but I don't want to get up.  
"You may want to sit up for this story." GOD DAMNIT JOHN FUCK.  
"But I don't want to sit up. You can tell me after we finish the make out session. This is fun." I say because its true.  
I lean my head down and kiss him again. He doesn't kiss back and that pisses me off. I get off of him and grab a beer because it's going to be a long night.  
"Heh sorry. I see you have a little pal there." He says nugding at my crotch.  
"Haha it's your fault that its there." I say then take a sip of the beer.  
"We'll you're the one that started sucking on my face." John says then sticks his tongue out.  
"Yeah well you made the hottest moan I have ever heard in my life." I say then sit next to him on the couch.  
"You bit me." He touches the cut on his lip and I laugh a little. He's a fully functional adult and he acts like a child most of the time. I don't love him but I like biting him. I have this weird alien feeling. That I hate him but I kind of want to sleep with him and bite him all over. I like to see him bleed. I get a similar feeling with Dave when he beats me at Mario kart. I ALWAYS get this feeling when Vriska comes upstairs. I mean she's hot. With John the feeling is different. It makes me kinda upset that I have this feeling all the damn time. John's kinda cool actually. I guess.   
"Are you gonna say something or just stare at me?" Oops I didn't say anything for maybe 5 minutes and I was staring at him. Wow.  
"Uhh sorry I was thinking." I stop staring at him and look at the black screen on the TV.  
"We could watch the movie if you want. Or I could tel you that 'long story' about my sexuality." John suggested because he saw that I was looking at the TV.  
"I want to know what the fuck up is with your twisted mind. I hit on you once when we were like 13 and you were like 'I'm not gay! Shut the fuck up dude. I like girls. I like boobs and shit.' But now you're like 'kiss me Mr. Vantas. Also I like your kisses.' I'm seriously confused." I say looking at him and using a high pitched voice for what he metaphorically said.  
"One I don't talk like that and two when we were 13 I was confused and going through puberty." Haha john is hilarious.   
"So what is your 'long story' you need to tell me before I kiss you again?" I ask because it's bugging me. I'm having thoughts of fucking him but I'm not sure if he's dtf.  
"Well I'm 'bi-curious' and I have a crush on Dave and you but I know Dave better so sleeping with him would be even weirder. So I just want you to know I'm not used to this and I also am having a huge gay crush on you." John says in one breath. I understand I went through the bi-curious stage of my sexuality.  
"I understand don't worry. So you ARE down to fuck?" I say not even thinking of my words.  
"I guess. Yeah. Let's have sex. I mean it is a Holiday. Christmas Eve. In like two hours it is Christmas." He says weirdly.  
I lean in and kiss him. God damn I forgot I still have my music playing. Thnks fr the mmrs is playing while I'm making out with him with a boner. He falls onto the couch allowing me to dominate him and ha it makes the boner worse. I hold his arms onto the couch and I feel us falling onto the floor. He pushes me onto the florr and now he is pinning me down. He uses one hand and feels my chest. It's kinda sweaty but he doesn't know it because I got out of the shower right before we first started making out. He lips drift from my lips and to my jaw line. I let out a really soft and quiet moan but he most likely didn't here it. He kisses my neck and I just-"OH MY GOD!" I didn't notice his hand go down there. Heh. He gently touches the 'V' leading to my crotch and it was amazing and I let out a gasp before shouting that. He stops momentarily and I growl slightly and he does it again. I moan again but a little louder. His hand explores my chest again and he kisses me again. I roll over and pin him down so I can actually get some action. Since he's on the ground I kiss his jaw line and then lift his shirt up and he gets the gesture. He takes the shirt off and unbuttons his jeans. I kiss his neck and nibble on it. I slowly go down and bite his shoulder. He lets out a slight gasp. I pull his pants down to his knees and I put pressure on his thigh with my hand.  
"Fu-fuck me. N-now!" He says and his face goes red.  
I get up and he stands up. Then he takes his pants off. I take the towel off and he stares for a few seconds and his face gets a darker red. I push him and he lands sitting on the couch. I get on my knees in front of him and he gives me a look. I take his dick out and I softly rub the shaft. He moans loudly. I'm sure Rose heard it from six miles away. I get my face closer to him and I put the tip in my mouth and lick slowly. John's head tilts back and he exhales sharply. "Do that again." I oblige, running my tongue along the length of his dick. John gasps, hands snaking into my hair and tugging softly. I take him into my mouth, looking up at him through my eyelashes. His hold on my hair tightens and he tugs a bit harder. I run my tongue along the tip again and he gasps a little. I run my tongue down the length. I put pressure on his thigh with my hand. I hear him moan and I know I did something right. I take the entire length and he tugs on my hair a little as his arm spasms slightly. I suck on it like a Popsicle. I lick the upwards of the entire length. I circle my tongue on the tip. He let's out a soft moan. I look up at him through my eyelashes. He's looking at the ceiling and he's breathing heavily. The hand thats not in my hair is clenched in a fist. It tenses as I lick the tip again. I run my tongue down the entire length again.His back arches and he pulls a few strands of my hair out trying to keep hold of me. He let's go as he has a slight spasm. A sticky liquid fills my mouth as he relaxes. I take his dick out of my mouth and spit the semen onto the tiles of the floor. He goes pale as he relaxes more into my couch. I nibble on his thigh and his leg tenses up as I do so.   
I hear a knock on my door as I nibble and suck on Johns neck. Then the door nob jingles.   
"Wh-who is it?" John says as I kiss his collarbone then nibble on his neck again.  
"It's Dave. Bro let me in. I ran out of aj." Dave says through the locked door.  
"Can it wa-wait?" John says then moans at a barely audible level.  
"Yeah I guess." Dave says sadly. I can sense that he's upset.  
I kiss John's jawline. I get up. I get off of him.  
"What?" He says as though he did something wrong.  
"I'm tired." I say. My jaws hurting too. I need to get some sleep.  
"Aw. I guess Dave can come in again and see that on the floor." He says and points at the sperm on the floor that's mixed with my saliva.  
"I'll clean it up. You should put clothes on." I say and point at the clothes that are on the couch and floor.  
"You should too." He says stupidly.  
"I have clean clothes in the bathroom." I say and start walking to the room. I go into the bathroom and check my phone. Its dead. I then grab my clothes and get dressed. I walk back into the kitchen and grab a few paper towels. I walk to the stuff on my floor. I get down on my knees and clean up the warm sticky white liquid on my floor. It's actually kinda gross.


	3. the gift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is what inspired the title to the story

My name is Karkat Vantas. Today is Christmas. Last night I slept with my dorky friend John. Sexual tension gets the best of all of us. My jaw still hurts. God damn John. I hear a knock on my door.   
"Who is it?!" I yell from my bed. My arms are wrapped around John.  
"Dave!" He yells through the door.  
"One sec!" I shout. I let go of John. He's awake. I get up and go to the door. I unlock it and let him in.  
"Nice boxers." He says casually and walks to my fridge.  
"Well hello to you to." I say and shut the door. I walk and sit on the couch. It's still kinda warm. I hope Dave doesn't sit down next to me. John gets out of bed and checks his phone.  
"Dude it's like 8:00. Why isn't anyone he- oh hey Dave." John says after looking up. He's wearing his boxers and it makes it kinda obvious what went on last night. He has bite marks that I gave him. He has hickeys oh his collarbone and neck. It looks like he got punched in the lip.  
"Woah. You better wear a fuckin turtle neck when people come over. Unless you want to tell people you two got jiggy with it." Dave was being a smartass. He knows I have a celeb crush on will smith. I have a fucking poster of him on the wall in my bedroom.   
"I was gonna get dressed. I'm not sure if I should tell them about last night. I don't know if it meant anything." John said looking back and forth from me to Dave. I think it meant something. He was the first guy I slept with. I usually dated girls. Wait what. Did I just imply that me and John are...dating?  
"It meant something to me." I said and John goes red.  
"John you are as red as the Betty Crocker spoon." Dave said and John stuck his tongue out at him.  
"I'll bit your tongue like I did your lip." Wait did I say that? That was a thought. God damn.  
Dave takes a sip of the apple juice he stole from my fridge. He pretends he didn't here it and John looks at me and gives me the look he gave me last night that made me give him a blowjob. I look away casually as though it wasn't said.   
"So I'm gonna get dressed now. Karkat you may want to get dressed soon." He kinda makes it seem like he wants to talk to me.  
"I'll get dressed in a minute." I say and head to the kitchen. Dave looks at me angrily.  
"I'm pissed at you. You motherfucker." He says at level that John can't hear but loud enough for me to know he's serious.  
"What?" I don't know what I di- wait. He... Is he mad because John slept with me?  
"You. And. Him. I can't handle it. I'm in love with him and he chose you. Of all fucking people in this apartment building he chose to fuck you. So I'm pissed at you." He says and John walked into the room when he said he was in love with him.  
"Dave. I love you too." John says and Dave looked at him and I saw a tear on his cheek. I didn't know he was crying because of his fucking shades.   
"John. Are you serious? If not then that is a cruel prank you prick!" Dave says and his face gets red with anger.  
"I'm serious Dave. I just was using Kaekat as an expirement. I was a virgin! I never had sex before and I wanted to be experienced when the time was good for you!" John said and his face was red. I didn't know he was a virgin. All I knew was I was his first guy.  
"John you said you weren't sure if it meant anything but last night you said the kiss was good! I'm confused and angry!" Dave said that and I noticed that while he said that Rose and Kanaya came through the door and had there gifts in hand. I'm not sure how long they were standimg there. I tap Dave on the shoulder and point at Rose, who has her jaw dropped.  
"Well. We came in at the wrong time." Kanaya says and grabs Rose on the shoulder and it seems like there going to leave.  
"You don't have to go." I say.  
"Well now everyone is gonna know that you two fucked!" Dave shouts at us.  
"Well. Rose seems to be speechless so please ignore us while we put the gifts down." Kanaya says and sits the presents on the floor by the couch.  
John walked over to Dave. He grabbed his cheeks and kissed him. I can't handle the sight. I thought that John actually liked me, but he did just use me.   
"Excuse me. I-i'll be in the bathroom." I say and ten around and walk into the bathroom. I slam the door shut. I feel the tears strolling down my face. They're the hot tears that happen when I am actually sad about something. I cried like this when my father died. This is the second time I cried these hot tears in the 25 years of my life. I knew he didn't like me. I just knew it. So why am I crying? I don't even like him. Well at least I don't think I do. I choked on my own saliva and I feel like I'm gonna puke. I cough then hear a knock on the door.  
"Leave me the shit nuts alone you asslamps!" I yell. The door opens and it's Kanaya. How is she always there when I cry? Fucking hell. I don't deserve anyone.   
"May I come in karkat?" She says through the cracked door.  
"Sure. As long as it's only you." I choke out. She walks in and quietly shuts the door.  
"It's only me sweety." She says and hugs me. I hug her back of course. I sob into her shoulder and hshe pats my back whispering that it'll be okay.  
"I can't keep anyone. I'm just an expirement gone wrong! I'm a horrible person and if I had to save you guys I would fail and I would die in the process. Heh the only good thing I'm capable of doing is killing myself. Then no one would have to worry about a stupid fucker trying to do anything." I say and she pats my back again.  
"You are a wonderful man. Anyone would be lucky to have you Karkat. You would make a wonderful leader. I just have a feeling that you would sweety." She says and we let go of each other. Her hand goes for her shirt buttons. What the hell is she going to do. Oh snap she just unbuttoned one of the buttons on her shirt.  
"I can breathe much better now." She says. I let out a breathe and she gives me a look and I just know that she read my thoughts.  
"I'm sorry. I'm a guy. I can't control my thoughts." I say and hold up my hands. She smacked my side.  
"I'm in a committed relationship." She says and laughs slightly.  
"I know." I state simply.  
"Well we should leave the bathroom. You should get dressed." She says and opens the bathroom door and motions for me to go first. I exit the bathroom. The first thing I see is John. He is standing far away from Dave.  
"What happened to you two?" I ask John.  
"We talked about it and he thinks I belong with you and if anything happens then he'll punch you in the crotch." John says and Dave nods from across the room. I hug John and kiss his cheek. Then I walk to Dave and I hug him.  
"Merry Christmas. You deserve this." He whispers in my ear then pats my back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See the inspiration

**Author's Note:**

> Hope this doesn't bug anyone. This chapter is short.


End file.
